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Saturday, April 5, 2014

WBR: Pixilated blue and other weirdness

Last Tuesday, I started my 20-round regiment of whole brain radiation. It is, thus far, one of the weirdest treatments I've undergone.The side effect so far include:

Instability - a.k.a. walking around like a drunk person. Seriously, I feel like I've had a few beers followed by rowdy tequila shots. All the wooziness with none of the fun.

Weird headaches - These headaches are not constant headaches, but the sort you get when you have the flu or a sinus infection. Sometimes when I go from sitting to standing, or from lying on my back to my front, a wave of pain travels into my head, increasing in intensity, and then slowly subsides. One of these was so bad that I threw up afterwards and the radiation oncology intern made me go to the ER (brief stay, for CYA purposes, I'm almost sure).

Fatigue - a little in the evening when I get home from my treatments. Not too bad, yet.

The process itself is weird, too. You do see a blue light when you're being irradiated, in a circle, not solid color, but pixilated. And you do smell a sort of bleach-y smell (it could also be a burning smell, but don't like to think about that - ew.

The closest representation I could find
the for pixilated blue.
I am still "myself". I'm still able to handle problems at work and KB swears that having brain radiation has increased my sense of humor, which is nice because making him laugh is one of the joys I have in life.

I still have my hair, but will be shaving that off tomorrow to save on the messy natural fall-out (Get the radiation reference? Yuck, yuck).

I have a lot of support here and am thankful to all the friends, family and strangers who help to hold me up during those times when I just want to curl up into a fetal ball and let go. It has truly been a turn around for me. I used to think that  people were such jerky things, but you have all restored my faith in human goodness. Thank you, thank you, thank you.


  1. Praying lots to get you through this! xo

  2. I'm glad you have your sense of humor back.that my favorite part of mom