The other day, KB was watching The Sopranos and so I sat down to watch with him. A scene started that featured the Tony Soprano's uncle, Junior Soprano. I got up and went into the bathroom to look in the mirror and realized (with some dismay) that I look a lot like Junior Soprano (see photographic evidence below). If my eyebrows were bushier and my glasses a little darker, I'd be a dead ringer.
WBR has not been kind to my physical self.
I am now bald, my skin is thin, dry and pasty. My leg muscles have been wasting due to lack of use and steroids (that are used to inhibit brain swelling). My face is puffy also because of the steroids.
It is a mighty cancer treatment that can make a 48 year old, relatively fit woman look like 60-something Italian mobster.
I know that I am looking like I'm diminished. People are doing a lot of staring and talking to me like they do some elderly folks - using loud, clear speech, talking down to me a little bit. At this point, I don't have the energy to confront it, so I let it roll off.
Luckily, I don't see my value as a woman in my looks. I've always thought I was a little funny-looking, so I tried to develop a good intellect and sense of humor, with a bit of silly self-deprecation. It works for me.
And so I press on through the effects of WBR, interested, aghast, and ever so fatigued. But all of the effects are not bad. This treatment has forced me to slow down - really see things and really listen to people - to be aware of things as and when they happen. It's nice to be able to do that instead of thinking about the next project or thing that I need to do. Life is good.
P.S. Please don't see this post as me looking for validation of my "beauty". I need no such thing. Just passing on my experiences with WBR to those interested.