I recently heard an NPR interview with David Sedaris, an essayist whose hilarious accounts of his OCD and French language lessons have left me laughing so hard I could hardly breathe. He was making the distinction between journals and diaries. Simply put, Journals are for writing down what happens. Diaries, on the other hand, record how you feel about what happens.
Now blogs are different. Blog is short for Weblog. A log was originally a record of the day-to-day happenings on a ship, so it's actually more of a technical journal than a diary.
Blogs run the gamut. Some report news or information of one kind only. Others are highly emotional screeds that can be a bit much to someone not personally involved with the blogger. So I've started to ask myself what I want my blog to look like. What do I want to include here? Do I want only to record my cancer-goings on? Or do I want to expand and offer up more personal information? On my last post, Katie, an old friend of mine from my home town thanked me for letting people into my head. But do I really? On occasion, I suppose.
I was raised to believe that the best conversationlist listens much and says little. But I'm thinking that maybe I want some sort of record left behind for my family, my children, my grandchildren that is more encompassing - something that chronicles me - not just my cancer. Emptying my mind onto a page could serve this purpose.
See now that's telling.
Using the word 'emptying my mind' instead of 'emptying my heart'. I am a person of the mind. I follow my mind because my heart has been very, very wrong a number of times. Perhaps I'll find some middle ground in that regard.
I guess my hope is that I'll share more, and more often - perhaps I'll include more personal photos and details of my everyday life as long as they're not to terribly boring.
We'll see how it goes.
Thanks for your entry you have inspired me to interject more passion into my own journal.
ReplyDeleteActually, Ruth, writing that is more specific and more real is seldom boring. (That's what I tell my Intro to College Writing students. Real-life examples and stories are a gazillion times more interesting than generic statements!) Also, your idea of leaving a record for your family really tugs at my heart. This past Monday was the 16th anniversary of Monica's death, and I really wish I had more to remember her by.
ReplyDeleteHey Katie,
DeleteI did not know that Monica had died. The last time I saw her it was the early or mid-90s, I think. She had stopped by with Shawn who was then just a little guy...I have many questions, but perhaps the answers don't matter.
I wish you peace in this and all things.
Thanks, Ruth. I didn't mean to harsh your mellow, but the anniversary always gets me, even after all these years. Plus I don't really spend time with many people who talk about Monica, particularly Mom. Sometimes it seems like Moni is so far away that she never was here, and that is really hard for me. Maybe that is why I've been to drawn to your blog. I find your honest, sociologically-tinged approach to the hand you've been dealt oddly comforting. Thanks again, Ruthie!
ReplyDeleteHey Katie,
DeleteYou didn't harsh my mellow. I always find it weird when I find out that someone, who I used to know, died. When I remember these people, I think of them as out there, living their lives and when I hear that they're not, there's a sense of loss.
Monica was a close friend for a couple of years in junior & senior high and I remember our summer hijinks fondly.
I'm glad you find this blog comforting. I find knowing that your reading it comforting, too.
Much love.
Hi, Ruth. I don't know too many people who would find this meaningful, but I know you will. Today Monica would be 48. (I bought a little cake--weird, I know, but it helps, I think.) Please join me in happy, funny, bawdy memories (and cake, if you've got it. . .)
ReplyDeleteThanks for remembering!
Kate
Hey Kate, Thanks for telling me about this. I actually have cake available today (one day late, but I don't think she'd mind). I'll spend some time thinking about Moni stories like trying the cocoa cigarettes, and talking about the hotness of Paul McCartney, drinking vanilla and chocolate malts by the gallon, the "rub-in tan" that turned us both orange, along with a variety of some of the most-bawdy stories I have.
ReplyDeleteAlso, the cake thing - not weird at all. It's a good thing, I think.
Much love,
Ruth
Thanks, Ruth! I just got back from the first day of the new semester, and you made me smile (and that's not because I'm thawing another piece of cake). Some days I wish I had Moni's gift of being able to say practically anything and make it sound dirty. (Actually, that wouldn't work out in my career, now that I think about it), but I always miss how funny she was.
ReplyDeleteI hope the cake was good, and I hope your laughed (but not while you were eating the cake--cake out your nose would not be funny).
Peace,
k8