Today is my 18-month Cancerversary and I am in a celebratory mood!
This is strange for me.
Being a budding scholar of death studies does not lend itself to much in the way of celebration...or happiness..or anything bright and shiny.
And recently, I have been feeling a LOT of survivor's guilt.
I'm starting a research project and the topic is, of course, death...and cancer...people who die of cancer...and I realize that a lot of people had a lot less time between diagnosis and death than I have, even at 18 months.
and so I was struggling with it - a sort of "why me?" only not the "I have cancer, why me?", but the "I'm not dead yet, why me?"
But that's not very useful, is it?
And I doubt very much that the people who have died of cancer after a short period of time would celebrate me being down in the dumps because I'm not dead yet.
They'd probably think that it was really stupid.
Which it is.
So, for all of those folks out there who have died of cancer, I live life for you! I celebrate life for you! I kick cancer's nasty rat ass for you!
As long as I possibly can.
Count on it.