In the past, I have been a doubter. Although I have deep faith in God and that
he has infinite love for every person whether they believe in him or not, when
something coincidental happens, I am more and more likely to take a
second look at God’s hand in the matter. Some coincidences are TOO
coincidental.
For example, last Monday morning before my scan, I was
telling KB that I was feeling low (actually, he told ME I was feeling low after
hearing me sighing over and over and seeing me sit on the (closed) toilet seat
with my head in my hands for an unusually long period of time.). I told him
that I was feeling very isolated and alone, and having a bit of a hard time
coping at the moment. We both know that it comes with the cancer territory.
So I’m going through my morning in this pre-scan, depressed
fog. I go to my appointment, go to the changing room and change out of my
clothes and into my two dressing gowns (one open to the back the other open to
the front). I grab my barium smoothies and head out into the waiting room area
and I almost bypassed the one with three women talking animatedly, but decided
to sit with them.
They were all talking about cancer. All three of them had
cancer (or had had cancer). One had recurrent breast cancer and was now stage
IV, one had a sort of muscle sarcoma that had recurred and was not stage IV,
and one had had bone cancer but was there to support her friend who had the
muscle sarcoma. Once I heard what their topic of conversation was I piped right
in and started asking questions and contributing my experiences.
It was so spontaneous. Genuine. Raw and real.
I’m not sure if you tried, you could repeat the experience.
Anyway, we all had our scans and parted with kind words. When I left, I left my dark clouds behind, too. I felt deeply peaceful.
Now the doubter in me says, this was just a happy coincidence.
My faith tells me that, just as we lose no hair without God being aware of it, God
meant for me to be there, to feel the support, to know that I am neither alone
nor isolated.
God’s keeping tabs on me.
And he’s keeping tabs on you, too.
God’s peace.
