Cancer has a
way of making you focus on yourself like nothing else I’ve ever experienced. Your
life, whether you admit it or not, is at the mercy of the whims of your
treatment and disease. You think about it. You talk about it. You write about
it. You become hyper-aware of discomfort
and pain and think, talk, and write about that. Friends and family offer
support and encouragement and as a result, you start to feel a little entitled to
a certain level of sympathy and attention.
We become
needy babies, greedy babies.
Case in
point, I met a woman online. She’s around my age and has the same cancer and
diagnosis as me. We have exchanged some emails and they have all, without
exception, been about her. She will outline her symptoms, treatment plans, side
effects, whathaveyou - without even a simple greeting of, “Hey! How ‘ya doin’?”
It’s just straight to her business which, I might add, goes on and on and on and on, which I get - sort of - and then closing with an, “I’ll keep you
posted.” Not a, "Hope you're doing well," or, "Best wishes," Nothing. Simple manners are out the window – because of the cancer.
I think we,
the cancerous, need to be very careful of the people we are becoming as we deal
with our illness. We cannot come to think of ourselves as special people
requiring special attention and due special privileges simply because our cells
have gone haywire. Although it may seem different when you’re showered with
attention and concern by family, friends and medical people, it’s not all about
us. Assuming we’re well enough to function in society, we need to continue to
engage in the give and take of relationships – perhaps even more so considering
what some people do for us.
So here’s my
clarion call for dropping those infantile tendencies and maintaining good,
adult manners and concern for others despite our cancer.
It's not that difficult. Really.
